Trav's Thoughts

I came home sick from work at noon today. I was fine early, but I went to stand up and grab something from the printer and the room spun - I almost went face first into a file cabinet. That can't be right!!

I'm feeling better now - I thought I was going to be fighting a major migraine. I don't usually get dizzy and I have no idea what happened. No inner ear pain or shortness of breath. I'm still coherent - well at least as much as I normally am. Heehee.

So I napped all afternoon and I'm feeling better physically. Mentally, however, I've been thinking a lot about change. I'm adjusting to some big time changes these days - maybe I'll go into them at another time.

For now, I'd like to share another poem I wrote in 1992. Get this - it started with an obscenity I yelled at some idiot. It was a colorful turn of phrase and I wrote it down as soon as I could. Then I started playing with other descriptive language around the original phrase, and suddenly I tapped into something completely unexpected.


Despair to Evolve

Disparaging
Where hides sense and logic on a crystal blue morn
Fluttered away in the autumn mist forever and utterly shorn

Ranting
How measure courtesy blocked and passed from sight
Harried soul bereft of kindness bound forever to a sea of midnight

Raging
Who calls another simple does himself most harm and hurt
Ego lies while friendships die and blow away like fallow dirt

Screaming
What does a road save guide and direct a pointless trail
Marred and broken signs steal progress; we march on to no avail

Despairing
When can a thing end that is not yet begun
Dreams measured against reality barter life from songs unsung

Evolving
Why ponder useless questions if true knowledge is sparingly doled
To feed the lust of ages before all breath grows forever cold


I guess change is something that goes on around us all the time. We can't stop it and we can't control it. We can only determine our place within the change, and either minimize or maximize the effects. Will we make something better with the opportunities presented by entropy? Or will we let change overwhelm us and freeze us into inaction?

Hey - here's a funny. I just ran spell check and the program stopped on the word migraine. I guess the program wanted to make sure I hadn't meant to type Nigeria or macaroni. Such a thoughtful little spell check program!!

Many of you may know by now that Diana has decided to close down Fuzzy Bunny Belly. Please go to the site and read her post on the Bunny Blog today. She has explained her thinking behind the decision.

Diana is a dear friend who is going through a difficult challenge in her life. I support her completely and wish her the best.

http://fuzzybunnybelly.com/cblog/index.php

The Bunny has become a special place for many of us. Please take a moment to thank Diana for our gathering place.

Thanks.

So it was a special feeling this morning, knowing that I was waking up in a world where I have my own place. I couldn't wait to come to the computer because I'm publishing one of my poems here this morning and it feels great.

And then when I went to publish my post - ERROR!! Damn!! So now I keep coming back every few minutes and hitting the publish button again. Grrrrrrr!!!

Still, I'm hopeful that working with this blog will help me knock some holes in the wall that has appeared around my creative center.

I've been plagued by an incredible case of writer's block recently. It's been painful. Several months ago my thoughts opened up and I scored big time with several projects that had been languishing for lack of attention for about 10 years. That burst of creativity lasted about three months, and now my brain has shut down again.

But the good news is that I do have some finished pieces from way back then. I'm proud of them and I'd like to share them once in awhile. This first one I'm posting today was written in 1992. I had taken a drive through Big Sur in California, and the inspiration was so strong.

PHOENIX

He sat
And gazed with tired eye
Upon a sight born of
Nature's first breath

Rolling playful ocean
Sun bathed sky of infinite motion
Forested garden, hawk's dominion

He breathed
Only to choke on mists
Set astir by raven's
Feathered wing

Fighting boundless beauty
Turning from ageless bounty
Dead to wondrous divinity

He burned
Did the phoenix
And from the dusted ash arose

In timeless splendor to eternity

Back when this piece was written, everything I saw around me made me think in verse. I caught just a glimpse of that a few months ago. There are few feelings in the world like it. I'd like for it to come back soon.

I have decided that I need a place.

I don't have anything of earth-shattering note to say. But I've been thinking about doing this for awhile. I've been blogging at www.fuzzybunnybelly.com for some time and having a good time. But since the farewell countdown has begun for The Bunny, I thought it might now be time for something more.

So now I have my own place. Stick around and see what might happen.

Oh yeah - you still need to remember to turn up the radio.