A few words about...

Posted: Monday, September 27, 2010 by Travis Cody in


First, the disclaimer.  I must advise that I like sex.  My Lady likes sex.  We're fans of it.  So anything I say is completely biased in favor of having lots of it.

Sex isn't bad.  Having sex isn't cheap or dirty.  A woman isn't a whore or a slut because she likes to have sex, and a man isn't a dog because he likes it.

Sex is a perfectly natural expression of attraction between two healthy people.  Sex is fun and it feels good.  Sex between two consenting, willing, and responsible people is wonderful.

Using sex to abuse and control is a bad thing.  Using sex as an expression of power is ugly.  Using sex to exploit is cheap.  Forcing sex on someone who is unwilling to engage in it with you, or is too immature to give adequate consent to you, is a crime.

But consensual sex is not a tawdry thing.  There is no universal application of morality governing human sexuality.  It's nobody's business, but I'll remind you that Pam and I are not married to each other.  Neither of us has ever been married.  Neither of us is interested in having children.  We live together, and have since I bought the condo in 2007.  We've each had numerous previous partners, which we both agree is a good thing because...well, practice is fun!

Neither of us has ever cheated on a committed relationship.  That's our business.  It's our morality.  We are compatible in our desires, in our experiences, and in our love for each other.  We think that's healthy.

But you don't really need to know that, do you?  You'd really rather not know that about us, would you?  Right.  I don't want to know that much intimate detail about you either.  Each to his or her own sexual business.  You mind yours, and we'll mind ours. 

As long as you don't intend to abuse, control, exploit, or force, then I advise all and sundry to go out and find a willing, consenting, otherwise unattached partner, get some condoms, and enjoy yourselves!


  1. Akelamalu says:

    Hear, hear, I totally agree. :)

  1. Jeni says:

    Ya know Travis, one thing I have to say about you when you dole out advice -it's usually pretty doggone good advice! And this really proves that point, I do believe!

  1. Travis,
    I wish everyone could mind their own bussiness. They sure would enjoy more!

  1. Travis - imagine telling people you write romance.

    Often, you get a *wink, wink* remark on how all your research is going for the hot scenes *wink, wink*

    Meanwhile, does anyone ask a thriller author how their murdering research is going?

  1. Oh lord...You've got Charles all distracted now! *LOL*

  1. AMTG: The end.

    Akelamalu: It's quite an agreeable topic I think.

    Charles: Yup.

    Jeni: HA!

    NNG: Indeed they would.

    Julia: I think it comes from that whole "write what you know thing", although your point is well made about crime novelists.

    Katherine: Hope you are well.

    Lana: It was my pleasure!

  1. Debra says:

    Well Trav...

    Thank you for sharing....


    PS: Amen and amen!

  1. You're preaching to the choir here, my friend. :) :)

  1. Linda says:

    I used to like sex and I bet I still would again were I ever to find the right partner to have it with.

    Very well spoken and right on the money!

  1. The migraine kept me away yesterday and I knew this was your subject...

    P-E-R-F-E-C-T Travis...you handled this with class and dignity...

    One person should read this, but of course she never will.

  1. Dana says:

    Sex...man, I miss it sometimes...but anyhoo, I believe in waiting until I get married (although that looks less and less likely!) so I may not have it anymore! So, have some for me!