Mo's Manic Monday - Survive
Posted: Monday, May 07, 2007 by Travis Cody in
Welcome to another Manic Monday with Mo. Today's theme is survive. Don't forget to cruise by MMHQ at It's A Blog Eat Blog World.
I don't think of myself as a survivor. I just get up out of bed every morning and do my thing. I have a lot of good stuff in my life - my beautiful lady, becoming a home owner, supportive family, a good job, my health.
My health. I lost the feeling of invincibility when I was 17 and had my knees destroyed in a football game. But I don't think recovering from that, physically and emotionally, qualifies me as a survivor.
Late in 1993, just before Christmas, I was nervously considering proposing to my girlfriend. I had a ring and I was just trying to figure out if it was really what I wanted to do. We'd been together for a few years and were kind of moving in that basic direction.
One morning in the shower, I realized that something wasn't quite right. I felt a growth in my groin. When I got to work I made an appointment with my doctor.
The doc suggested out patient surgery to remove the growth and get a biopsy. We scheduled it quick and the results came back - Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The next step was to stage the cancer and discover whether it was localized or if it had spread along my lymphatic system. I had surgery to remove my spleen and some liver tissue samples.
I was fortunate that the cancer had been found very early. It hadn't spread, and all I would have to do was a radiation regimen. No chemotherapy was required. By summer of 1994 I had completed the radiation treatments and the cancer was pronounced in remission.
I never lost my hair. I was only briefly sick when the radiation treatments moved to my abdomen. I was in the best physical shape since my days as a high school athlete - the worst part about the surgeries and treatments was I had to stop working out. It took a long time to get my abs back in shape.
Hodgkin's Lymphoma is a cancer with a very high survivabilty rate. Since mine was found so early, I was never really concerned that it was life-threatening, and neither were any of my doctors. My family freaked out a little, but once I explained everything to them they were able to settle in and relax.
After five years with no recurrance, I was pronounced cancer free in 1999 and am essentially cured.
One of the unfortunate side effects of the radiation was that it made me sterile. When I consulted with the oncologist, he said that was a possibility because there was really no way to block the effects completely, especially considering where I had to have the treatments - in my groin area and then up into my abdomen.
That wasn't a big deal for me though. And I didn't think it was a problem for my girlfriend, soon to be fiance. We had talked around the idea of children and I thought she was on the same page with me - I didn't want them and I thought she agreed.
She was with me through every step. But when she found out that children were now impossible with me, she left without a word.
I did survive that, but it took a long time. Part of it was the way she just picked up and left. We didn't talk or anything - one day we were going through this major illness, and the next she was out of my life.
Sometimes I still ask myself how I could have been preparing to tie myself to someone who I evidently didn't know as well as I thought. Surviving that emotionally was a lot tougher than surviving my Hodkin's.
Baby, you ARE a survivor..but the thing that makes you one is because you don't dwell on your past. You move forward in a hopeful attitude.
I can see how people may look at a survivor as one just barely hanging on, but I like to think as it as one persevering and getting all he/she can grab onto.
And THAT my dear is YOU!
Props baby, props!
**hugs**