Darkness of self

Posted: Saturday, December 02, 2006 by Travis Cody in
7

I was having a great day. I finally got my emails caught up at work. The ice is mostly gone and I'm not sliding around the place anymore. It wasn't as cold today. It was Friday.

Taylor was on Leno.

And then something happened. I let a stranger's words hurt me. I let those words cut me in a raw place. They rubbed against a nerve and stung me.

Maybe the person who said the things I found hurtful wasn't having such a good day. Maybe I shouldn't be so sensitive. Maybe I should be more understanding and forgiving. Maybe. . .

Dammit. . .there are dark places that shouldn't be exposed by the hurtful words of strangers. I don't care whether the insult was unintentional. I don't feel particular charitable right now.

Words are power. So I'll crawl into some of my own. This poem is special to me. I wrote it many years ago. It speaks of confusion and fear, and wondering if these things can be overcome. It suits the place to which my mind ran tonight, to escape the words of a stranger.


DARKNESS OF SELF

On the far side of nothing is a darkness
chased there by a dream,
And held fast by a vision of new love,
buoyed by a breath of nature and cast
Upon the winds of nurturing fire,
faced by a bravery ne'er to be cowed.

Is dark denied dominion o'er self?

When shadows creep upon sunlit walk,
fear not the narrowing of light but
Embrace the cool shade and know it.
Blackest night can ne'er penetrate lighted soul
With false dimness; only by self will
may unfettered darkness intrude.

But is dark denied dominion o'er self?

Pin pricks of star light blink and glisten
'gainst velvety smooth night shades,
Measuring the either/or of decision.
To be in a field of shadow no lover;
Is this to gain a say in love,
or to choose against joy in faithless pain?

Will dark be denied dominion o'er self?

Trueness to a dream exists more or less
in bodiless trails of thoughts in kind,
E'er in motion 'gainst deft deed.
Matched side by side in duty perpetual,
Controlled in deed and decision by
necessities of the most noble of causes.

When is dark denied dominion o'er self?

On a cold day in hottest hell, fighting all
manner of foul demons of mind,
Self-created, self-empowered, self-released.
Only when love is accepted in respect for
Its own, as e'er was extended,
and a door forever slammed comes burst asunder,

Then is dark denied dominion o'er self.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous says:

    I never cease to be amazed at how well you write poetry, Trav. This one speaks to the heart of anyone who has ever been in a dark place (basically, everyone) and tells us that the darkness need not engulf us; that we have the power to overcome it, if we just let the light shine within us. Very deep.

  1. Travis says:

    Meri: Thanks. I'm so proud of this piece.

  1. duckles says:

    Who hurt Trav??? Let me at 'em!!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh Trav, I let that happen to me all the time. But you have a wonderful outlet - your poetry is just incredible.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Trav,

    I've learned throughout my life (as short as it might be) is that sometimes people use words to increase their own egos. Perhaps their esteem has been affected somehow and they have taken to treating you or others poorly. You should not worry about words Trav, you have wonderful words that spout from your heart. And honey, we have wonderful words for you. You are wonderful and I will never stop telling you that. So, takes those words and let those that hurt you fall beside the wasteside.

    Hugs!

  1. Anonymous says:

    arg... hate when someone is not intellegent enough to know that words will harm you

  1. Travis says:

    Thanks to all for the support!