Trav's Thoughts

I was having a great day. I finally got my emails caught up at work. The ice is mostly gone and I'm not sliding around the place anymore. It wasn't as cold today. It was Friday.

Taylor was on Leno.

And then something happened. I let a stranger's words hurt me. I let those words cut me in a raw place. They rubbed against a nerve and stung me.

Maybe the person who said the things I found hurtful wasn't having such a good day. Maybe I shouldn't be so sensitive. Maybe I should be more understanding and forgiving. Maybe. . .

Dammit. . .there are dark places that shouldn't be exposed by the hurtful words of strangers. I don't care whether the insult was unintentional. I don't feel particular charitable right now.

Words are power. So I'll crawl into some of my own. This poem is special to me. I wrote it many years ago. It speaks of confusion and fear, and wondering if these things can be overcome. It suits the place to which my mind ran tonight, to escape the words of a stranger.


DARKNESS OF SELF

On the far side of nothing is a darkness
chased there by a dream,
And held fast by a vision of new love,
buoyed by a breath of nature and cast
Upon the winds of nurturing fire,
faced by a bravery ne'er to be cowed.

Is dark denied dominion o'er self?

When shadows creep upon sunlit walk,
fear not the narrowing of light but
Embrace the cool shade and know it.
Blackest night can ne'er penetrate lighted soul
With false dimness; only by self will
may unfettered darkness intrude.

But is dark denied dominion o'er self?

Pin pricks of star light blink and glisten
'gainst velvety smooth night shades,
Measuring the either/or of decision.
To be in a field of shadow no lover;
Is this to gain a say in love,
or to choose against joy in faithless pain?

Will dark be denied dominion o'er self?

Trueness to a dream exists more or less
in bodiless trails of thoughts in kind,
E'er in motion 'gainst deft deed.
Matched side by side in duty perpetual,
Controlled in deed and decision by
necessities of the most noble of causes.

When is dark denied dominion o'er self?

On a cold day in hottest hell, fighting all
manner of foul demons of mind,
Self-created, self-empowered, self-released.
Only when love is accepted in respect for
Its own, as e'er was extended,
and a door forever slammed comes burst asunder,

Then is dark denied dominion o'er self.